To Coats I've Lost,
Jobs I've Quit,
Trains I've Missed, and
Songs I Don't Remember How to Play

By EleCivil

Home * EleCivil * Back

  1. Left it piled on a bus seat with the zipper stuck halfway.
  2. It was blue and yellow nylon from a charity box
  3. Outgrown five years ago but never thrown away
  4. Until now, that snagged zipper the last straw
  5. More straightjacket than windbreaker
  6. And the lining was worn out, scratchy and coarse.
  7. Shimmied free with groans and swears
  8. And left five years of semi-warmth behind.
  9. Cold-shouldered liberation, but a long walk home in the snow.
  10.  
  11. Handed Boss-Lady my rented gear and said
  12. “This isn't going to work,” when I meant to say
  13. “You're the worst human being I've ever met.”
  14. The man who trained me did bad Nicholson impressions
  15. And told me on the first day,
  16. “Most jobs ain't as bad as this one.
  17. You should probably quit and find one that's decent.”
  18. It was two days before I took his advice
  19. And I heard that he quit a week after that.
  20.  
  21. I've never really hopped a train
  22. Never traveled by rail, thumb, or ship
  23. Always scared to take the risks
  24. But I drive a car on streets packed with ice and others
  25. And sometimes I'll see a gap in the guardrail
  26. Where someone else broke though and fell fifty feet
  27. And think “If only he would have hopped a train instead.”
  28. Sometimes I'll walk to work because I care about the Earth
  29. But that's just the lie I tell myself when I can't afford gas.
  30.  
  31. I can't play any musical instruments any more.
  32. Schools tried to teach me violin and recorder
  33. Friends tried to teach me drums and guitar
  34. And I used to know how to sing and play
  35. “Mary Had a Little Lamb” little lamb little lamb
  36. But I can't remember a single note.
  37. Can't read sheet music or tablatures
  38. And my singing voice is like the strangled howls
  39. Of a cat in heat falling into a pile of thumbtacks.